It all started as an innocent evening of Guitar Hero and a few drinks, a few joints were smoked and laughter was bellowing through the hallways. We were having a great time. I was kicking ass at Metallica and having one of the best nights ever. Until it all changed in just a few words.
It was about 11pm on a Saturday night. Half of the apple flavored vodka was gone, the last joint was smoked and our fingers were getting numb from strumming the fake guitar strings. He leaned over the foot of the bed, where I was sitting on the floor.
“Hey, you wanna do it?” as he was nudging my shoulder in a come on move.
“Not tonight baby, I really don’t feel like it.” I said.
“Alright than, I’ll just get wasted instead.” he said shoving off the bed into the kitchen.
By that time, I was pretty much finished drinking. I had a decent buzz going but wasn’t drunk. I was still walking and talking straight, able to see. and I thought my decision was okay. Later on it wasn’t.
He ended up drinking most of the remaining liquor. He could barely walk and was slurring his words.
“Hey babe, lets do it. Come on. I want you. COOOMMME OOON.”He was practically begging me.
I didn’t want to have sex with him, especially now that he was wasted drunk. So I told him as sweetly as I could that I didn’t want to for said reasons. He. Was. Not. Happy. And I knew I was done for if I didn’t move. I got up and started running for the door. His first move was to grab me by the neck and throw me down on the bed. He pinned me down by the wrists and used his knees to pin my legs down, and started violently kissing my face and neck. I couldn’t fight him off. I was 105 lbs compared to his 215. I wasn’t strong enough to push him off. His first mistake was drinking too much. He lost his grip and he stumbled, and I was able to get up and make a run for it. I was to the front door when he caught up to me. Grabbed me by the shirt, ripping it and threw me on the ground. Trying to pin me down but failed. Again I was able to get back to the door and got out. I had 10 more feet to go to get into my car.
Right as I was reaching for the door handle, he grabbed my wrist and pushed me. I fell onto the concrete, right on my knees. I scrambled to get up, scraping my hands and legs and finally crawled into the car.
I was lucky my car was a piece of shit, and my car key was permanently stuck in the ignition. (Hooray for being broke.) I made a clean getaway, screeching out of the driveway. I parked down the road and called the cops from a pay phone.
They showed up, took my statement, let me grab my things that I had left at his house and let me go home. At this point I was free. He disappeared off into the field next to his house so it was my word against his. I took my things and left, vanishing off to my parents house. I got there about 1am, my Mom was freaking out, mainly because I had been drinking and drove home. She was angry the cops had even let me leave. Seriously Mom, I just went that horrific experience and all you’re thinking about is drinking and driving (I am against it, but do you really think the liquor was coursing through me after that? I think not) My Dad took pictures of my injuries. I had a huge cut on my forearm, and thigh. My knees had scraps and cuts all over them. My shirt and shorts both had holes ripped in them, I had bruising on my neck and a cut on my lip. I looked horrible. Just like a scene out of Law and Order: SVU or some crime drama TV show. Then I got a phone call….
“Yes hi, we are looking for Megan. This is the police department. We need you to come into the station and turn yourself in. A Mr. So-in-So finally gave us his statement and according to him he was defending himself.”
WHAT. THE. F*&K. Why am I turning myself in? Did they not see all of the injuries? Did they not read my statement? This is ludicrous.
I got my purse, changed my clothes and drove down to the station. Come to find out, the state I live in is a “HE SAID, SHE SAID” type of state. Both parties have to be taken into jail and wait to be seen by a judge. Bail is set and than you go through all the court proceedings. Hope you have a decent lawyer.
I got beat up, and I ended up in jail. What kind of twisted system is this?
I got out that following Monday morning on my own recognizance. And went straight to the courthouse to see what kind of crap I would have to do to get out of this mess.
A public defender got my Domestic Violence reduced to a disorderly conduct and I faced hundreds of dollars in fines, 24 hours of community service and I was enrolled in anger management classes. I complied to all the rules right up until the end. That’s when I messed up. I failed to finish community service on time, I failed a Urine Analysis and I was caught at a party with said abuser while still under a restraining order. I got a ticket, went thru all the court stuff again and if I didn’t comply with the rules, I would go straight to jail.
And in the end, that is exactly what happened. One night in Hell, led to a lifetime of hurt.
“I am living in hell from one day to the next. But there is nothing I can do to escape. I don’t know where I would go if I did. I feel utterly powerless, and that feeling is my prison. I entered of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key.”
― Haruki Murakami
Prompt Stomp “ONE”
**Domestic Violence is a very serious thing. If you or someone you know is suffering from Domestic Violence, please seek help right away. Talk to the Police, a therapist, shelter, support group or a close friend. Help is out there, and moving on is something that will empower you to become stronger and encourage others to do the same.